Conflict is normal and inevitable. Here are some tips that will help:
Tip #1 - Learn to talk about issues without blame or criticism.
- You can learn to ask for what you need without making the other person "bad." It's your need, not their shortcoming.
- "Keep your claws in."
Tip #2 - Always fight or argue face-to-face.
- Never try to resolve conflict on texts or emails.
- All of us automatically add tone and attitude to the written word, whether it is real or imagined (that means YOU too).
Tip #3 - Cool down for 30 minutes if it's getting overheated.
- Agree to meet one another back in 30 minutes on the couch to talk it through without distractions.
- Cool down by letting it go, not by building a case.
Tip #4 - Slow down and take turns talking.
- Do not interrupt each other.
- Listen to your partner to understand. Don't listen to form your response.
- When they finish, tell them what makes sense to you about what they said. When they feel understood, ask if they can hear a response.
- This kind of dialogue will actually turn conflict to closeness!
Tip #5 - Take care of the conflict as soon as possible.
- Don't sweep things under the rug.
- You WILL trip over that rug later.